I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
