ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
