My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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