WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
