my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
