theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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