He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just want to make out with him forever
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
