toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
