Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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