we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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