I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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