i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
It's never too late to be topless.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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