ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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