put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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