i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
