the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
