i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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