you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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