his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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