hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
