yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize