I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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