I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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