I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
