Your dad touched me again.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize