I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
that's an acceptable place to lick
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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