Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
