I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
