i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
