so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
As shirtless as possible
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
