well I can't set my house on fire every night
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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