You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
