If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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