Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You're a waste of cheezeits
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
