i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
