don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
