we have pet lesbian snakes
I want to have your abortion
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
