That's intense
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
