You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
