I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
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