Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I love having hate sex.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
