Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
