the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
