I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
