we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize