you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
