tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
