I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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