Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
