too bad you live with your parents still
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
