what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
