Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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