I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
stop calling my apartment porn island.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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