Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
