Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
