So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
