He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
