So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
