My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
