GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
