Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize