But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
