OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i wish my penis had a tongue
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
