Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
