dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
