My brain says no but my pants say off.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize