watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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