I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
