When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
