You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
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