I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
