Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
