Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
