For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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