You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
