Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
