If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
