I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
