don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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